Late Night Thoughts

** The end is where to start ** 


He Won't Leave

Nov 30TH 2018

It's that pattern again. I can see it. I can feel it. The fear. The memories. The anxiety. His voice comes back. I can almost see him, shouting, cursing and trying to hurt me in every way possible. I scream at him, "leave me alone!!".

But, my voice! I have no voice. It's like It's been muted.

I try to scream more but I end up losing my strength and my breath. Then, I panic. I can't breathe, I can't scream and there is no one around to hold me. Except for him looking at me and laughing.

He's ugly voice, face, behaviors are in every man I meet. He's always there. He won't leave. I want him to die. To disappear. To set me free. But he won't...

Maybe it's time to give up.

July 13TH 2018

A woman or a man.

Boring!

July 10TH 2018

Maybe He Doesn't Exist

Just So You Don't Freak out

May 28TH 2018

I can be nice. Sometimes!

On Being Rude

May 28TH 2018

Sometimes I actually enjoy being rude to people I hate.

And I hate for a good reason.

I mean like I really really enjoy it! Sometimes, it even makes me happy!

This is creepy! OK, now I hate me.

Why can't we break up with friends?

May 26TH 2018

Usually, friendships end without anybody knowing how or even when. It's weird!

Anyway, I broke up with a friend recently and it was better than I expected.

Honesty all the way.

What is Love?

May 23TH 2018

Still bullshit!

The Meaning Of Moving On

May 20TH 2018

Is to accept that you can't change what happened and it is what it is.

Pretending that it never happened is just stupid!

Stupid person speaking -.-

Why Do Men Exist?

May 10TH 2018

Hmm....

Sperm and wars!

I still like my guy friends, though. They're cool.

Home

April 13TH 2018

"They say home is where the heart is

But my heart is wild and free

So am I homeless? Or just heartless?

Did I start this? Did it start me?"

Passenger - Home

I Love You But...

April 1st 2018

Loving you made me lonely, confused, and lost

Loving you broke my heart and left me hanging

Loving you killed me slowly

I love you but it's time to move on!

Come Back to me When..

April 1st 2018

It's right.

When you stop caring about what people think.

When you have the courage to fight for us

When you love me enough.

When you read this!

What is it?

March 18TH 2018

Is it timing?

Is it God?

Is it family?

Is it religion?

Is it life?

Or is it all in my imagination?

What Would You Do?

March 18TH 2018

If doing the right thing, makes you miserable and kills you slowly deep down.

If doing the right thing, makes you lonely, confused and lost.

If doing the right thing, fills you with regrets and sorrows.

Would you still do it?

Running Away

March 14TH 2018

Is the only sulotion I know!

A Quote

March 14TH 2018

"For everything you have missed, you have gained something else, and for everything you gain, you lose something else."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

So, who's left?

March 14TH 2018

Me, myself, and I

It happened...

March 14TH 2018

But it ended before it started!

If My Life Was a Movie..

Nov 10TH 2017

I would be the charecter that everyone thinks she knows nothing, she's innocent and naive.

Yet, she knows everything about everyone. She knows everyone's dirty little secrets, what they've lied about, what they actually want and how they will react to most situations.

Which is why she thinks most humans are boring and extremely predictable once you get to know them.

That Moment...

Nov 6TH 2017

When it's time to leave and let go..

Maybe...

Nov 6TH 2017

Maybe I never loved them.

Maybe I never loved anyone.

Maybe I do have zero emotions and what's left is only desire!

Maybe I should stop comparing myself to others and accept who I am. Or maybe I should see a therapist!!

Sometimes...

Nov 6TH 2017

I get scared when I realize how easy it is for me to let go. To erase all the memories. To never look back.

Desire and Emotions

Nov 5TH 2017

They control us the same way a marionettist controls a marionette...

"What Do You Fear The most?"

OCT 31TH 2017

"Losing the people I love to death" Was my answer to my friend's question a few weeks ago.

I lost someone I truly love today. I lost them alive! It's a lot worse than losing them to death because it was their choice.

Actually, I think I lost them a long time ago.

A broken family?

OCT 29TH 2017

Maybe, but in my book of life, a family is where you feel home. Where you can be yourself. where you can feel safe.

A family could be your friends, your pets, your lover, your mom, the staff of your favorite coffee shop.

Or all of the above.

Define Family?

OCT 29TH 2017

noun.

"A group consisting of two parents and their children living together as a unit."

"All the descendants of a common ancestor."

It's funny how the meaning of the word family never applis to me. It's quite the opposite!

Does Justice Exist?

OCT 26TH 2017

In my opinion, absolutely not. It's weird how we are so confident that we can achieve justice by following few rules. As if justice comes in one form that never changes. What's fair to me can be unfair to someone else and vice versa.

Life is unfair, so how and why will there ever be true justice?

What Is Love?

OCT 10TH 2017

At this stage of my life, my definition of love is bullshit.

I'm Back!

OCT 5TH 2017

I'm back to the same streets, same buildings and same people. I'm back to the same place I escaped a year ago. I'm older and wiser. I'm still very short but I've matured or at least I hope I have. I'm also stronger, crazier and different. Tottally different!

Birthday Girl

OCT 2ND 2017

Tonight I celebrated my 26th birthday with my crazy and amazing friends in Tbilisi, Georgia. We danced and sang together. We shared delicious food cooked by our African friend. It was a magical night. It was also the celebration of my first year of travel.